markath47
Alliance Leader
Alliance leader
Posts: 13
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tavern
Dec 27, 2021 14:58:46 GMT -5
Post by markath47 on Dec 27, 2021 14:58:46 GMT -5
1st!
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tavern
Dec 27, 2021 16:19:45 GMT -5
Post by Rattlehead (THC) on Dec 27, 2021 16:19:45 GMT -5
Well, I didnt win but I came close. Coming close still counts with horseshoes and hand grenades so maybe forum posts as well?
Anyhow, Hey everybody!
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Post by shavar (THC) on Dec 27, 2021 17:38:39 GMT -5
A 17 year old guy walks into a drug store.
He says “I’ve been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend’s house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean.”
Clerk: “How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here’s a pack.”
The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: “you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I’ll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky.”
Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn’t say a word.
After a while his girlfriend says: “if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn’t have invited you.”
the young man replies “if you had told me your dad works at the drug store, I wouldn’t have come.”
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Post by Rattlehead (THC) on Dec 27, 2021 18:06:48 GMT -5
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.”
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tavern
Dec 27, 2021 18:28:27 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Dec 27, 2021 18:28:27 GMT -5
A 17 year old guy walks into a drug store. He says “I’ve been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend’s house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean.” Clerk: “How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here’s a pack.” The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: “you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I’ll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky.” Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn’t say a word. After a while his girlfriend says: “if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn’t have invited you.” the young man replies “if you had told me your dad works at the drug store, I wouldn’t have come.” Haha a good one, Id still try to proceed with the plan with the girl, if I was the young lad from the story.
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markath47
Alliance Leader
Alliance leader
Posts: 13
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tavern
Dec 27, 2021 21:21:52 GMT -5
Post by markath47 on Dec 27, 2021 21:21:52 GMT -5
Id nope out as soon as I saw the clerk/dad because in reality when they know you about to screw their daughter and probably wife you done when you show up.
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tavern
Dec 28, 2021 1:20:16 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Dec 28, 2021 1:20:16 GMT -5
Lets be honest, the wife plan was overly optimistic to begin with
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Post by shavar (THC) on Dec 28, 2021 17:31:03 GMT -5
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”.
Boat Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board.
Then there’s the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here.
He makes about $30 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally”.
IRS AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one”.
Boat Owner: “That would be me. What would you like to know”?
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tavern
Dec 29, 2021 2:21:57 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Dec 29, 2021 2:21:57 GMT -5
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him. IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”. Boat Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $30 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally”. IRS AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one”. Boat Owner: “That would be me. What would you like to know”? Haha Jesus i didnt expect this turn of events
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Post by shavar (THC) on Dec 29, 2021 23:13:44 GMT -5
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them... 1.Bride relatives 2.groom relatives
He entered the groom door and found two doors again. 1. Ladies 2. Men
He entered men door and found two doors again. 1.People with gifts 2.People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts )... He found himself outside the hotel.
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tavern
Dec 30, 2021 5:15:08 GMT -5
Post by titan on Dec 30, 2021 5:15:08 GMT -5
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them... 1.Bride relatives 2.groom relatives He entered the groom door and found two doors again. 1. Ladies 2. Men He entered men door and found two doors again. 1.People with gifts 2.People without gifts He entered the second door (people without gifts )... He found himself outside the hotel. That house must have a very interesting layout
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tavern
Dec 30, 2021 5:19:34 GMT -5
Post by memegod on Dec 30, 2021 5:19:34 GMT -5
AMOGUS
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tavern
Dec 30, 2021 6:32:32 GMT -5
Post by memegod on Dec 30, 2021 6:32:32 GMT -5
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them... 1.Bride relatives 2.groom relatives He entered the groom door and found two doors again. 1. Ladies 2. Men He entered men door and found two doors again. 1.People with gifts 2.People without gifts He entered the second door (people without gifts )... He found himself outside the hotel. That house must have a very interesting layout it was a hotel lel
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markath47
Alliance Leader
Alliance leader
Posts: 13
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Post by markath47 on Dec 30, 2021 19:43:39 GMT -5
Anyone ever stub their toe on a pencil? I did not but a few minutes ago didnt think it was possible but here we are.
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Post by Rattlehead (THC) on Dec 30, 2021 23:00:34 GMT -5
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
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